Sunday, October 4, 2015

Defeated, Rinse, Repeat

We just got back from a quickly little vacation up north, and while I was expecting to get back tired I wasn't expecting to get back this defeated.  I didn't expect to be fought by a suddenly stubborn four-year-old every step of this trip, for the whining, for the tantrums, for the complete lack of grace on my side.  I wasn't expecting the reminders that the older generations don't assume the best (or the worst) about small families.  I wasn't expecting the old feels of inadequacy that comes from being an only child trying to parent with no background knowledge to resurface.  I wasn't expecting the feelings that it's my inadequacy as a parent that's the real reason we haven't had anymore.  I wasn't expecting the first thing to see when reconnecting online was a reminder that *everyone* else is pregnant right now and announcing their April/May babies and mine is already dead.

I feel completely defeated by this weekend.  On the outside; if I just scrape off the frosting and don't look at the cake underneath it was fine.  We had some enjoyable times and good moments, but I go to bed tonight just undone by it all.

Defeat,  Rinse.  Repeat.

Monday, September 28, 2015

Saint Michael, Patron Saint of Leggings

Saint Michael.... Warrior of Heaven,
Patron Saint of Germany, Grocers, Paratroopers
... and wearer of FABULOUS LEGGINGS

Simple, yet classy.

The Slightly Regrettable Stirup Pant


Don't Tell Cari About the Owl Leggings




Inspiring a Legion of Angels to Look Amazing While Smiting the Devil.

Saint Michael, Patron Saint of Leggings.  Pray for us; that we might always remember that leggings, while versatile and comfortable, are not pants.  That we may forever keep our shirts long and our fabric opaque.  Amen.

Sunday, September 27, 2015


(there's so much I could add to this list - if there's something I've forgotten to list it's probably not intentional)

I don't normally use this space to get political - in fact, I don't want to get political now, this isn't about politics for me.  I know that many of my friends and family and I disagree on this topic.  I know that many people I love have gone through this.  My opinion does not make me think less of them or sympathize less.

I'm just tired of being called a hypocrite because I don't support abortion - and no doubt there many who are, who don't care what happens after birth.  But that is not me; I care very much what happens during, afterward and before.  I try my best to walk my talk.  I simply believe I'd rather see money and resources go towards everything else on my list and that I want to do what I can to end the reasons that make abortion seem like the best choice.  My morals tell me that abortion is wrong, but at the same time my senses tell me that we'll never convince people that it's not necessary without working fix the issues that surround it.

I try not to harp about the politics - legal or illegal - because I realize that legality doesn't change our current realities.  Do I understand why this is legal? Yes, I do.  Do I understand that without changing the cause legality wouldn't change anything?  Yes, I do andI want to change the problems so that the legality becomes a moot point.

I want to work towards a world where we don't need this - a world where a family doesn't have to choose between a child and poverty, where a woman doesn't have to choose between a child and her education, a world where we continue to work towards improving quality of life for those medical complications and a world where rape and domestic abuse are a distance memory.  Is it going to happen in my lifetime? No, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't try.  Do we have a long way to go? Absolutely, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't try.

If we disagree on this issue I don't think you're horrible.  If you've chosen this path I don't think you're evil.  I've been on both sides of this fence.  I've sat next to friends as they've chosen from the options available to them.  I work in the medical field.  I know that your heart is in the right place and I just want you to know that mine is too.

If I never see the politics change I can live with this.  The best way I can live is that any man or woman who comes to me in with an unplanned or unwanted pregnancy - whether it's my best friend or one of my children - knows that they can find support and love from me for them and the child.

I want you to know that if you came to me right now in a difficult situation - an unplanned pregnancy, a bad prenatal diagnosis, an abusive relationship - that I will do everything in my power to help you.  I would want to find the best way to support you and your child through this, in a way that respects both your needs and your child's life.  I want you to know there are many ways to get help - there are many more clinics out there that provide services on a free and sliding payment scale.  There are resources for food, clothing and housing.  There is support for the realities of your child's diagnosis and there are families waiting for this child if it's the best choice for both of you.

*****I'm more than happy to engage in respectful dialogue on this issue, but I'm trusting my commenters to be able to keep things civil and respectful.  If you have a question, but do not want to ask in the comments you can email me at mollymakesdo at gmail dot com *****

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

The Family: A Mission

"As Mary and Joseph also did, and it was not easy: how many difficulties they had to overcome! They were not a superficial family, they were not an unreal family. The family of Nazareth urges us to rediscover the vocation and mission of the family, of every family."
~Pope Francis

The family, such a simple yet complicated structure.  It seems like such an easy equation - put two parents together, add children.... then divide by grandparents, multiply by aunts and uncle to the power of cousins.  Even that seems easy until you turn the page and now you need to solve for x where the family is the square root of it's community, which is the derivative of a culture that results in point on a chart that will converge towards eternity.

Yep, the family is simple.

Sadly I think that society at large does think the family is simple - that it doesn't matter what we do to its form or structure and that it surely doesn't matter whether or not it's supported.  The family as a unit has existed for hundreds of thousands of years; it must be a smooth-working piece of machinery by now.

What the family is - how it exists, grows and thrives within its own walls is complicated enough without adding the additional stress of vocation into it.  Surely, it's just enough to make sure the first grader remembers to wear pants outside or that the four-year-old does eat more Legos or that you actually know where you teenager is.  Feed, clothe, cart around - that's what the family is supposed to be right? Just surviving, possibly thriving, but only existing during those few hours at home together at night and maybe an hour at Church on Sunday.

Some days it does feel like that's all we have in us - those immediate needs of the people around us are so high and so necessary that there can't be anymore asked of us.  To add any more would be "Mission: Impossible", there's just no way God could ask any more.

But God does ask more, He wants more from us and He wants more from our families.

I don't think He wants us to work ourselves to edge of insanity and I don't think he wants us to burn out and turn away, but I do think the need is there and He is calling us to something more.

I think He is calling us to reinvest ourselves in our families, to strengthen our families and to make our families a mission.  He wants our families to be emissaries to our communities.  He wants our families to be feel charged with its own duty to each other and other people.  He wants our families not to just to have a mission, not just to have a goal, but to be a mission.  A literally, brick and mortar mission - I think we're being called to make our families physical reminders of what a good Christian is - that we build our own strong foundations, house the needy in our walls, support truth, beauty and love above our heads to keep us safe and secure.

It's not enough to go out on a mission elsewhere and on occasion and it's no longer enough to just state that we have a mission.  We need to be a mission.  Our mission is family and our family is a mission.

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