Wednesday, September 28, 2016

It's Flying

Time is that is, just flying.  It's almost October and that means my little girl is almost three months old.  Three months the second time around feels like the blink of an eye versus the long slog that comes with your first kid.  It's like the return trip that feels half as long.

I don't want to jinx things, but life has been going really well - it's been a bit chaotic, but in a good way.

We've had a lot of changes in the last few months - the months before Helena's arrival were bogged down with stress and way too many family members facing health crisis'.  Then July hit and things slowed down just in time to pick back up again.

Henry started school in August - there were many tears on my part, not so much on his.  It was a huge change - even though I'm a working mom there's only been a small fraction of time in the last 5 years where he was spending a bulk of time with someone who wasn't family as we've been blessed with arrangements that have kept our kids out of full time daycare since he was about two and a half.  I know why people choose homeschool for this reason - it's a big change in your life, and once that first kid is off to school your life is never quite the same.  Helena's spent more time in the car than her brother did at this age, our days aren't as lazy, etc.  It's scary walking out that door, but it can be a good kind of scary and a good kind of change.

He's thriving as far as I can tell.  We have a good balance between home and school learning, no homework, reasonable expectations, and a great school.  There are things that aren't perfect - there are mean kids on the playground and technology choices that wouldn't be my first pick, but it's nothing that can't be dealt with.

I'm back at work as of a few weeks ago.  So many people have asked how it's going - it just is.  There's not really another option than what we're doing right now which made the return easier I think.  Life just is what it is and I've waited three years for this baby, I'm not going waste time and energy bemoaning something I can't change for the better.  I work.  My husband works.  We have our priorities in the right order.  Our family is awesome.  If that changes we'll change, plain and simple.

Helena is doing great.  She has the best little chubby legs, a good eater, an amazing sleeper and just yesterday learned to lift her head up during tummy time (a major milestone for my large noggin' babies - it takes a bit longer to build up that strength when your head is over the 100th percentile and the rest of you is firmly in the 50th).  She's incredibly chatty and just the happiest thing and I still can't believe she's here.  

This weekend is the one year anniversary of our trip to the Shrine of Our Lady of Gaudalupe in Wisconsin.  Exactly, to the day (because of her early c-section arrival) 9 months later Helena was born.  I hadn't realized the timing on that until a few days ago - a bit of a miracle isn't it?

Life in general is busy - we're working, Henry is doing soccer once a week and we might finally have him convinced to try swimming lessons this winter, he's also in Religious Ed. at our new parish.  I've just started writing for Blessed is She again and plugging away at a long list of craft projects for the fall - new hats, baby sweaters, Halloween costumes and more - and I'm still pumping whatever I can for the baby so have found a bit more down time to tackle these things.

Three months in and I'm still pumping - I wish I could say I love it and it's wonderful and all going well, but I'm just learning that my body is not built to do things the easy way.  After trying everything that my LC's could throw at me - different pumps, different flange sizes, foods, hydration, supplements, compresses, massage, etc., etc., etc. we've finally just thrown our hands up in the air with an unofficially diagnosis of either mild mammary hypoplasia or "IGT"(insufficient glandular tissue), which long story short means I get to spend hours a day hooked up to this pump for an average of 12-16 oz of milk.  Nothing we've tried has changed that number.  I still oscillate between being angry that between fertility, birthing and breastfeeding issues my body is completely incompetent and thanksgiving that I live in a time in which my body is not a death sentence for me or my children because of it's shortcomings.

Life is busy and the days are getting shorter, but we're definitely keeping them full right now.

4 comments:

  1. Pumping is such a pain, isn't it? I don't pump well at all no matter what I try. I can nurse just fine, but I can never get more than a couple oz when I pump. It's so depressing to see so little in the bottle. But anyway, I'm so glad things are going well for you!

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  2. Pumping is such a pain, isn't it? I don't pump well at all no matter what I try. I can nurse just fine, but I can never get more than a couple oz when I pump. It's so depressing to see so little in the bottle. But anyway, I'm so glad things are going well for you!

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  3. I have a dear friend who went through the diagnosis of IGT despite trying for days and days to make things different. It is hard when you want something so badly to work. I'm sorry you've had to go through this too.
    Glad to hear, otherwise, things are going well for you, Molly! :)

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  4. We missed you in September Molly!! Hope the trip to the shrine was peaceful and fun:)

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