Sunday, October 18, 2015

My Superpower

My friend Mandi (who blogs at A Blog About Miscarriage, and is expecting a baby in next few weeks - pray for her!) shared this article about the developing idea of microchimerism - the idea that fetal cells stay in the mother's body, travel through the body and aid the mother throughout her life.

When we had our first two losses, they were anembryonic pregnancies, I came across the whisper of this idea and am so happy to see it developing in the scientific world.  I came across an article that just briefly mentioned that anembryonic pregnancies are basically reabsorbed into the mother's body.  It brought me a lot of comfort - my little babies are actually still with me, at a tiny, microscopic cellular level.  If you shifted through me bit by bit you'd find pieces of them.

We believe that when people die and are made holy they become saints (not angels).  We venerate the earthly relics of saints as a reminder of their models of holiness.  The actual bodies of these people are a particularly strong type of relic.

So if my children, who never had the chance to know or choose sin, died and went to Heaven that the remains of their bodies would be relics.  If I carry those relics within me, I am a reliquary - a vessel that holds some sacred.

I see the fun pictures and meme's a lot.  "Breastfeeding is my Superpower."  "Making Babies is my Superpower".

Perhaps this is a gift that God gives to mother's who loose their babies too soon; who loose babies without much proof of their existence.  Mother's who are often the only ones who know or remember.  God, the great scientist that he his, designed a way to bless those bodies that seem so broken and so powerless.  He makes us walking vessels of holy relics.  He gives the chance to bring the relics of beautiful little saints into our church, the playground, and the workplace every day.  He uses us to bring a little more Grace into the world - a Grace that is not brought out only on special occasions or kept behind glass.  It is a Grace that can hold your hand, cry with you and laugh with you.

My superpower might not be managing a gaggle of children, budgeting for a large family or anything else my friends with more children do.  My superpower might be something quieter, but oh so powerful.


12 comments:

  1. Wow. That's just unimaginably cool and powerful. Bless you, friend :)

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  2. Oh, Molly. This is so beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing this!

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  3. Oh, Molly. This is so beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing this!

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  4. This is so amazing...brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. I have been having such a hard time lately feeling like the whole world has already forgotten Lily. But this just reminds me more why I could never forget the perfect little soul I held in my arms. I'm also so grateful for the keepsakes I have...those would be third class relics, right? ;) I've also always had a hard time when people tell me I have an angel looking over us. I always want to correct them and say "actually I have a saint". :)

    Simply amazing...thank you for sharing. I am always praying for you.

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  5. "God, the great scientist that he his, designed a way to bless those bodies that seem so broken and so powerless. He makes us walking vessels of holy relics."

    Yes. Yes. Yes. Isn't this the blessing of our Faith? To put suffering, the deepest, most profound human suffering, into its redemptive context? Thank you for this perspective- turning the "weak vessel" into something full of grace and beauty.

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  6. Man this month of October focusing on miscarriage has been really hard for me. I thought I had shed my tears, I thought I was stronger now but there have been so many beautiful women opening up their beautiful hearts and I find myself so deeply moved. I don't mind these tears. I'm happy I still have them in me to remind me of what I have lost. I will just be a little more prepared next October when I open the internet!

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  7. Thank you so much for your posts, they are a great source of comfort and peace.

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  8. This is beautiful Molly. What wonderful words for us "saint mommies"

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