But, this is not that post.
I cannot write that post because it is no longer true. This baby, my third since last April, has passed on to it's home in Heaven. By the looks of things, the baby probably passed away not long after that brunch celebration. I go in for a D&C on Friday to avoid the complications that drew out my previous losses much further than they needed to go.
Because of the progress this pregnancy made we will hopefully get a few more questions answered. Because this is my third there will be many more blood draws, tests and consultations in my future and I don't know what our decision will be when it's all over. I'm quickly approaching the age where most women in my family find their reproductive abilities compromised due to one thing or another. While I refuse to give up hope I also feel a hand guiding me towards acceptance. We might be surprised in the future, and it might well be that unbeknownst to us Henry was a miracle. While I might find out that what's wrong may be treatable with blood thinners or supplements; most likely we'll find out that our issues are genetic in nature and cannot be worked around.
We have big decisions ahead of us and I have no idea what the future holds any more.
"Those who sow in tears will reap in songs of joy." - Psalm 126; 5-6.