Sunday, May 25, 2014

The Only Thing You'll Ever Need on Your Baby Registry

Today we celebrate a very important piece of equipment that every person should also know the location of, yet it is something I rarely see on baby shower registries.  This baffles me as this particular is so useful.  It cleans.  It comforts.  It entertains.  It has a million and one uses.

So I ask Mothers everywhere this very important question....






Towels, one of the singular most important items you can ask for on a baby registry.

Baby just made a huge mess out of one of it's ends?  Always know where your towel is.

All the blankets in the wash?  Always know where your towel is.

Have an immediate need to make mountains or other landscape-esque features for someones toy car collection?  Always know where your towel is.

"A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitch hiker can have. Partly it has great practical value — you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble‐sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand‐to‐hand‐combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindbogglingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you — daft as a bush, but very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough."
(That all sounds like a regular day with a toddler to me)

"More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: nonhitchhiker) discovers that a hitchhiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, washcloth, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet-weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitchhiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitchhiker might have accidentally "lost.". What the strag will think is that any man that can hitch the length and breadth of the Galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through and still know where his towel is, is clearly a man to be reckoned with." - Douglas Adams, A Hitchhikers Guide to the Glaxay
  (Surviving a Playdate 101)


I'm not kidding when I say that after 3 whopping years of motherhood I always throw in a towel or two (or at least a stack of washcloths) to any new baby gift I give.  To paraphrase Mr. Adams,

"Any woman who can deal with a baby through the length and breadth of Parenthood, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through and still know where her towel is, is clearly a woman to be reckoned with."

Now if only motherhood came printed with the words "Don't Panic" written in large friendly letters on its cover.

Mos Def has your back.

Happy Towel Day everyone.  =D

6 comments:

  1. I always give towels for baby shower gifts! I got each of my boys a PB hooded animal towel with their names on it when they were babies--the big size, not the baby size--the baby size is silly. Now they each have one towel, and they always know where it is, i.e. on the hook next to the tub. And as a bonus I can look at my five year old every day in his tattered old lion towel and reminisce about how I used to be able to swaddle him in it when he was tiny :)

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    1. H. regularly asks for "Baby Tunnel" which is swaddling him up, roughly, in our regular bath towels after a bath (or when he needs comfort). At 3 years old it still works! In fact he often sleeps under one when we get him to take an afternoon nap (like today!)

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  2. Fandom proves necessary to real life again, as usual! Brilliant, Molly!

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    Replies
    1. Doctor Who, Hitchhikers, it's all a recipe for awesome parenting no matter your approach.

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  3. Ok, so I forgot all about this because I'm not a nerd, but as soon as I started reading I was laughing out loud! Funny, Molly!

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