I seemed to have temporarily lost my blogging mojo. I apologize. We've had vacations and ill relatives, a house to get ready for winter, a few unexpected expenses and all those little things that take up time. However, in the few moments I have to spare I've been putting together a few great posts that I think will make up for it.
It's too easy to get wrapped up in the minutia of the day to day life. Particularly as a work-away-from-home Mom it's too easy to discouraged when you feel like those hours you spend away aren't amounting to as much as you'd hoped. But, if there's one thing being a parent has taught me is that you can only plan so much. I used to be able to plan out long stretches of time and have it go, relatively, according to plan and to an extent I miss that. I'm trying not to let myself plan too much any more. Sure we have our little goals - savings accounts and things set aside for special occasions, to do lists for the house and family, but I'm trying to learn to let that go a little more.
I try to remind myself that we are succeeding in living within our meanings on a small budget a large portion which is eaten up by daycare expenses. One day we'll have that money again we'll be able to plow thru those student loans and have more wiggle room. I remind myself that we wouldn't be anywhere near comfortable if I wasn't working and that's just the reality of it. It's not a career mindset and it's not where I go to feel "fulfilled", it's what I do so that my son can see his father day to day and we don't have to fret about the heating bill or groceries and that's better than nothing.
It's easy to let the jealousy bug take a bite being surrounded, in real and blog life, by so many wonderful women who get to do things I can only dream off - stay home, not worry about the spacing of their desired children, etc., etc. Sadly, I'm human and if you're reading this I've probably compared myself to you one too many times even though I don't know the ins and outs of your lives, you struggles or even your budgets. But at least I'm honest, right?
The phrase I've been given, literally after prayer, is "In Due Time". In due time we'll know when it's right to grow our family, but for now we're enjoying ever minute of Henry's life. In due time we'll pay off those loans, but for now we should be proud in our ability to live well within our means. In due time we'll get there.
In due time is such a strange phrase to have been given; it's not a yes and it's not a no. Rather it's a "wait" and, well, who ever was giving me that message knows me to well because that is the one thing I'm terrible at doing. So for now I wait for what will come in due time.